This week, I spoke to two grown women about heart-shaped necklaces. These talismans of grade nine love and friendship had found their way into the psyches of women who now pay their own bills and live by themselves. One friend, Liz, was trying to figure out what to do with a heart necklace given to her by someone who was no longer a part of her life.
?I still have the heart necklace he gave me last Christmas. I?m just not sure what to do with it.?
?Can you sell it??
?That seems so cruel.?
?He?s so cruel. Get rid of it.?
?I?m not sure what to do with all the things he gave me. I?ve never used that Coach purse.?
?Well, you?re not a high school mean girl on her way to the mall, so obviously you?ve never had a chance to use it.?
?Come on, it was a nice gesture.?
?His mom?s a nice gesture. Get rid of it.?
?That doesn?t even make any sense. But you?re right. I should get rid of it. I just don?t know how.?
?How do you get rid of things? You get rid of them. You put them in the garbage, you give them to Goodwill. They?re just things.?
?They?re not just things. I remember it being such a perfect gift. It was exactly what I wanted. Jewellery. Heart-shaped jewellery! I?ve wanted someone to give me a heart-shaped necklace since high school and it finally happened and it was someone I really liked and loved. It was amazing. I thought it meant something.?
?Well, it did mean something. It just didn?t mean everything you wanted it to.?
?I acted like such a crazy person. I was jumping around saying I would never take it off. Now it?s hanging on a hook in my bathroom.?
?You?ve been watching too many Spence diamonds commercials. Sell that necklace on eBay.?
?I?d probably do Craigslist.?
?Suit yourself.?
Even as Liz knows that it is over with heart-shaped necklace man, it is hard for her to let go of a reminder of how good it felt to be the recipient of a heart-shaped something. She likes to remember a time when she believed that when he gave her something heart-shaped, it meant he was giving her his heart. It got so complicated after that, but for a moment, it was so simple. Here?s my heart. And you can wear it and never take it off.
My other friend, Caitlin, came by her heart-shaped pendant a different way.
?I didn?t want to tell you this but I found a necklace.?
?Why did you not want to tell me that??
?Because it seems so cheese. I found this heart-shaped necklace at the bar. I asked the bartender if anyone had reported it missing but no one had.?
?That?s good of you. I would have just kept it. What?s so cheese about that??
?It?s Tiffany.?
?I would totally have just kept it.?
?That?s the thing, I saw that it was Tiffany and I went to the website to see the value of it, and, I kid you not, it?s actually called an Open Heart necklace. I actually groaned at how on the nose that is.?
?Ooooh from the Elsa Peretti collection??
?How did you know??
?I know things. Are you going to sell it??
?Well, I?m going to call the bar again and see if anyone reported it missing.?
?Wow, you are a better person than I am. That thing would be on eBay right now.?
?I prefer Craigslist. I think I might just keep it to remind me, you know.?
?To remind you to look on the floors of bars??
?No. To remind me to?keep my heart open or whatever. I have been feeling pretty?closed lately. But that?s cheese, though right??
?I don?t think it?s cheese. So does this mean you?re going to go out with that guy Taylor wants to set you up with??
?I think I have to. I found a heart-shaped necklace on the floor of a bar.?
?Well, that is a legally binding contract. The necklace has spoken.?
?Exactly.?
Symbols are just shapes that we all agree mean something. But even as we acknowledge that they are just shapes, their universality appeals to a part of us that wants to belong, wants to participate in something bigger than we are. Even as I heard my friends talking about hearts and understood how they were hesitant to give themselves over to the grade-nine-ness of it all, I wondered why not? Why can?t things be as simple in grade nine, when half of a heart from Ardene that said ?BE FRI? meant that the person who owned the ?ST ENDS? part of the heart was going to be your best friend forever? Even though now you only see her sometimes on Facebook? What?s wrong with tapping into that innocence a little and believing in something as simple as a heart-shaped necklace. I am not sure how to find lasting love in this day and age, but if a heart-shaped necklace helps you, I won?t knock it. And if it doesn?t work, you can always sell it on eBay. Or Craigslist.
Source: http://o.canada.com/2012/12/13/relationships-two-hearts/
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